Orphaned by my mother’s tongue: A search for belonging

by on July 27, 2018

My mother is from the Philippines where the national language is Filipino, which is a standardized form of the Philippine language Tagalog. She grew up in the province of Negros Occidental in the West Visayas region where they speak Hiligaynon (known colloquially as Ilonggo), so Filipino is not my mother’s first language. Growing up in Germany, I was raised speaking German. Until I was eleven, I had never even set foot in the Philippines, therefore the country’s image in my mind, was solely shaped by either romantic documentaries or catastrophic news on TV, nightly calls by family members, and the food my mom and her Filipina friends made—as well as occasional remarks by German friends telling me that I smelled like rice.

In my heart I always wanted to belong. I think it’s very human. The German side of my family was never really close to each other so my longing for a close family was present throughout my life. I created this romanticized picture of the Philippines as the place where I could find this close family. As a teenager, I imagined that the only thing preventing me from realizing that picture was the distance keeping us apart.

My mother didn’t teach me her mother tongue so that I could assimilate better in a country with a German-speaking majority. My parents wanted me to speak “proper” German and didn’t want me to speak with a foreign accent. As a kindergarten kid, my mom used to read to me in English from books sent from my aunt in Canada. I used to speak English in kindergarten sometimes, but when nobody there understood what I was talking about, I complained to my mom and eventually the two of us stopped talking in English as well.

Later, in elementary school when I started learning English institutionally, other kids told me that my English was wrong in spite of the fact that I had some knowledge of English before formal English lessons in school. Of course, I spoke English with a Filipino accent and the German kids were unable to tell the difference between wrong and accented English. To give you an idea, numbers would be pronounced like this in Philippine-accented English:

tree to mean three
fibe instead of five
seben instead of seven

In the end, I learned English just like any other German kid and now have a German accent in my English that I’ll probably never completely get rid of.

My parents were not aware, that even though I learned German as a first language, I would still often be seen as a person from a foreign land simply because of my outer appearance and the stereotypes that go with it, even though I was born in Germany, speak German fluently, and am well assimilated in German culture with friends and habits. Of course many years after my childhood, I became interested with this “otherness” that the Germans repeatedly confronted me with. I imagined that once I found the “other” part of myself that made me foreign, I could fully live up to my identity. Maybe, if I were raised bilingual and had been taught German as well as Filipino (or my mother tongue Hiligaynon) growing up, it would have helped me to deal with my otherness differently. Kids who grew up learning both of their parents’ languages seemed to have less identity issues.

In Germany I didn’t like being asked: “Where are you from?” and being told “I think you look more [insert nationality here]”. I recall just having started elementary school and being asked over and over again where I was from. The answer “Germany” would usually not be accepted as an appropriate answer.

The assumed nationality I belonged to often depended on where in Germany I happened to be. In the more conservative northwestern region of Germany, I have experienced people saying “Nihao” (你好; Mandarin Chinese for ‘hello’) in my face as a joke or calling “Shing Shang Shong” after me on the streets. In Berlin, Turkish migrants would ask me about my nonexistent Turkish roots and other Germans would be confused by my racial ambiguity. An exception is the racially-diverse city of Berlin in Germany, where I feel safe being who I am, especially, because I have the chance of being accepted as a German since I speak the language fluently, which is—no doubt—a privilege. A lot of people there don’t look stereotypically German but are in fact local Germans.

After I completed high school, I went to the capital of the Philippines, Metro Manila, to further deepen my connection with the culture and ways of living. As a foreigner it is easy enough to get around in the Philippines speaking English, but I realized that I still did not feel quite as connected as I wished to be. My experiences were also manifested through confusion over my looks and language ability, but they differed from those in Germany. Due to the Philippines’ colonial history, white appearance is often associated with an upper class status. The Spanish colonial period in the Philippines lasted for nearly 400 years! It brought Catholicism, replaced the pre-colonial script Baybayin with the Latin alphabet, and established the elite colonial social structure. Spanish—as well as Chinese—families built the upper class, and up until now are among the most influential and rich in the country.

Colonial Spanish rule in the Philippines was followed by the USA, up until 1946 when the Philippines was granted full independence. The Spanish established formal education following religious orders and as part of spreading the faith of the Catholic church as their highest interest, but the Americans had different priorities. Every seven year old child was required to register in their nearest school and free materials were given in a newly established school system just like the American system: elementary school, high school and college.

English was the language of instruction in schools and so the colonial government of the US was hence able to teach Filipinos not just the English language but also about western values and beliefs which lead to the formation of a national identity. As of now, English and Filipino are considered national languages, while a proficiency in English is associated with the educated and upper class. Wherever I go, people are slightly more polite to me or become shy if I happen to speak English to them—a situation I witness even among my extended family there.

The inability to speak English and thus causing a language barrier is called “Nosebleed” in the Philippines. Once, practicing my Tagalog while shopping in an Ukay-Ukay (local second hand market) I was embarrassed for stuttering and explained to the saleslady that I was practicing, and she simply told me in Tagalog: “It’s good that you’re the one having the nosebleed, instead of me”, and burst out in laughter. It was so refreshing to have a genuine conversation with someone who could empathize with me, and I enjoyed being the one who was embarrassed for being the cause of the language barrier. I felt like I owed this feeling to all the Filipinos who were embarrassed for their bad English. These kinds of language experiences keep me going in my quest to learn Tagalog even better.

I have not yet practiced Tagalog with my Philippine family. The thought is still intimidating for me, especially since I am not able to communicate and connect properly with them in their language. I learned Tagalog instead of my mother’s tongue, Ilonggo, because it is nearly impossible for me to learn it with so little exposure. Almost all the TV programs are in Tagalog, and so are the official papers, and bilingual-English dictionaries. It would not be easier to speak with my family in Tagalog instead of English, but to be able to better connect with people in general makes me happy.

In a Philippine language, I can talk to more people, instead of being limited to speaking only with those with a higher education in English. Also, people would often become interested in why a foreigner decided to learn Tagalog, and I could tell them about myself and express my feelings.

Learning Ilonggo with Tagalog as a base is not as big a step as from English. But who knows, one day I might end up surprising my mom by speaking to her in her mother’s tongue.

86 Responses to “Orphaned by my mother’s tongue”

  1. This is nice Analie. Not sure if you can still remember me but it is good to know that you are still active especially on learning about your roots.

    – JB

    Reply
  2. Paragon Jackets

    great

    Reply
  3. It’s a good article for today

    Reply
  4. Bernardds

    Hi, this is a good article, but I can suggest something much better. Everyone needs to relax and have fun. I know a really cool way to do that. Unleash the fun of international gambling at your discretion! Descend from the confines of space and explore a world of limitless potential. With internationalcasinos https://www.newonline-casinos.co.uk/international-casinos/ , you can participate in fascinating games, receive exclusive bonuses, and enjoy unparalleled customer service, no matter where you live.

    Reply
  5. temfu Wildcard

    All sorts of exciting games may be found in Wild Card City. Even though their slots are the most played games on their site, they also provide traditional casino favorites like blackjack and roulette. In addition, Wild Card City offers a wide variety of live dealer games hosted by actual croupiers and enhanced with cutting-edge technology. This is the place to go if you want to try something new and exciting at a casino. The huge welcome bonuses, loyalty benefits, and special promotions at https://wild-card-city.casino/ are what set it apart from other casinos. A wide variety of promotions, including free spins, match bonuses, and no-deposit bonuses, are available to players.

    Reply
  6. Ariful Islam

    Thanks for providing recent updates regarding the concern, I look forward to read more. Cheap SMM Panel

    Reply
  7. Very informative article!
    Tarp Cover

    Reply
  8. Andrew Mark

    This is excellent article, thank you for the share! This is what I am looking for, hope in future you will continue sharing such an superb work.
    The Christmas Chronicles Mrs Claus Coat

    Reply
  9. Discover the perfect juicer for your needs at Juicer Hunter. Explore top-rated juicers, expert reviews, and buyer’s guides to find the ideal juicing solution for your healthy lifestyle. Make the best choice with Juicer Hunter’s comprehensive insights : https://juicerhunter.com/

    Reply
  10. If I only had a few more minutes to live I would play this Drift Hunters game.

    Reply
  11. Bella Bella

    PlayCroco Casino Australia is where the fun never stops. Dive into a world of exciting games, irresistible bonuses, and a unique Croco character that adds charm to your gaming journey. Join us today for a wild and entertaining online casino experience like no other

    Reply
  12. Bella Bella

    Step into the untamed world of Wolf Winner Casino Australia, where the spirit of the wolf guides you through an exhilarating gaming journey. With a captivating range of games and enticing bonuses, this online casino promises a unique and thrilling adventure. Join today and embrace the call of the wild for a gaming experience unlike any other. Explore a diverse selection of games, from slots to table games, all while enjoying generous promotions that enhance your chances of winning big. Wolf Winner Casino Australia is where the thrill of the hunt meets the excitement of winning, making it your ultimate destination for online gaming.

    Reply
  13. From witty banter to insightful analysis, you all are raising the bar. This article is a masterclass in communication and critical thinking.

    Reply
  14. Thanks for this insightful post! Your valuable information truly adds depth to the topic. Grateful for your expertise and sharing knowledge. cheapest smm panel india

    Reply
  15. Adorn yourself with the regal allure of Pakistani bangles available at Jewelgalore. Our exquisite collection celebrates the traditional artistry and craftsmanship of Pakistan, allowing you to express your unique style with grace and charm.

    Reply
  16. Join the ranks of excellence at Osh University, consistently ranked among the international medical universities. Experience a cutting-edge education that propels you toward a successful medical career on a global stage.

    Reply
  17. Shalamar Hospital’s Laser Skin Complex offers advanced dermatological treatments. Visit us for cutting-edge skin care services, and achieve your desired skin goals with expert guidance.

    Reply
  18. Achievement Unlocked – Fun: Whether you’re a casual gamer or a seasoned pro, https://Kizi-Mizi.com celebrates every victory, big or small. The only thing better than conquering levels is doing it with a smile on your face.

    Reply
  19. bet9jacom

    In the exhilarating realm of casinos, where fortunes hang in the balance, players seek the thrill of chance with each spin and deal. Whether at iconic establishments like the dazzling lights of Las Vegas or the virtual excitement of online platforms, the casino experience is a symphony of risk and reward. As the reels spin or the cards are dealt, the atmosphere hums with anticipation, inviting enthusiasts to revel in the allure of possibility. The national casino landscape, both brick-and-mortar and digital, is a vibrant tapestry where the heart-pounding excitement of a bet9ja log in merges seamlessly with the timeless allure of games of chance.

    Reply
  20. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More Info here on that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  21. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Information here to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  22. … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  23. It’s a game. Five dollars is free. Try it It’s not an easy game
    ->-> 카지노사이트 .COM

    Reply
  24. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Information here to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  25. Excellent information. Thanks. I am 77 and have been taking Suhagra for erectile dysfunction for 6 months. A really wonderful medication ! Was having unreliable and short duration erections. I started with 50mg but reduced to 25mg and kept the great results. Hard for approximately 30 minutes a session always ending in sensational climaxes. Have increased frequency of love making to about 5 day intervals (34 times over the past 6 months !). This is because the love is so fabulous and we are both not at all impatient to finish. No side effects. Recommend it for all you older guys, but you should also keep physically fit.

    Reply
  26. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  27. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  28. … [Trackback]

    […] Information on that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  29. … [Trackback]

    […] Find More Info here on that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  30. Db City

    The article is thought-provoking and stimulates further thinking about the topic. The writing style is polished and professional. luxury villa gwalior

    Reply
  31. … [Trackback]

    […] Information to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  32. techmartin

    There are a lot of blogs over the Internet. But I can surely say that your blog is amazing in all. It has all the qualities that a perfect blog should have. saudi visa para sa mga mamamayan ng czech

    Reply
  33. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  34. Orphaned by My Mother’s Tongue: A Search for Belonging” is a poignant exploration of identity and cultural dislocation. The narrative delves into the personal journey of reconnecting with one’s roots after losing touch with a mother tongue. It reflects on the challenges of cultural estrangement and the quest for belonging. For those grappling with similar issues in their academic writing, seeking Assignment Help can provide valuable support in articulating these complex experiences effectively.

    Reply
  35. … [Trackback]

    […] Information on that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  36. Rabi Seo

    에볼루션카지노 platform integrates seamlessly with third-party operators, ensuring that their games are accessible through many popular online casinos. This wide reach enhances their visibility and player base.

    Reply
  37. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  38. america suits

    Hello world! Exciting news for fans of epic adventures: the “Star lord jacket game” is now available! This immersive game lets you step into the shoes of your favorite Guardians of the Galaxy hero, sporting the iconic Star Lord jacket. Get ready for intergalactic action and fun—embrace your inner hero today!

    Reply
  39. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More on that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  40. techmartin

    We sincerely appreciate your blog article. Upon seeing your article, several ways will become apparent. That’s precisely what I was looking for. I appreciate this post; please continue. Fantastic work. 룩셈부르크 시민을 위한 캄보디아 비자

    Reply
  41. Thank you for such an engaging post, I appreciate how you articulated the challenges and opportunities. car check details

    Reply
  42. … [Trackback]

    […] Read More to that Topic: unravellingmag.com/articles/orphaned-by-my-mothers-tongue/ […]

    Reply
  43. It is a good site post without fail. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am impressed that there is so much information about this subject that has been uncovered and you’ve defeated yourself this time, with so much quality. Good Works! 멤버십벳

    Reply
  44. This is my first time visit to your blog and I am very interested in the articles that you serve. Provide enough knowledge for me. Thank you for sharing useful and don’t forget, keep sharing useful info 볼트토토

    Reply
  45. This is my first time visit to your blog and I am very interested in the articles that you serve. Provide enough knowledge for me. Thank you for sharing useful and don’t forget, keep sharing useful info
    보스토토

    Reply
  46. Great survey, I’m sure you’re getting a great response
    네임드토토

    Reply
  47. It is a good site post without fail. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am impressed that there is so much information about this subject that has been uncovered and you’ve defeated yourself this time, with so much quality. Good Works! 라바토토

    Reply
  48. It is a good site post without fail. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am impressed that there is so much information about this subject that has been uncovered and you’ve defeated yourself this time, with so much quality. Good Works! 루피카지노 도메인 주소

    Reply
  49. Great survey, I’m sure you’re getting a great response 티모토토

    Reply
  50. Great survey, I’m sure you’re getting a great response 링크모음

    Reply
  51. This is my first time visit to your blog and I am very interested in the articles that you serve. Provide enough knowledge for me. Thank you for sharing useful and don’t forget, keep sharing useful info 링크모음 사이트

    Reply
  52. Great survey, I’m sure you’re getting a great response 접속 가능한 주소

    Reply
  53. Great survey, I’m sure you’re getting a great response 뉴토끼 접속 주소

    Reply
  54. I must say, I thought this was a pretty interesting read when it comes to this topic. Liked the material.  툰코 접속 주소

    Reply
  55. It is a good site post without fail. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am impressed that there is so much information about this subject that has been uncovered and you’ve defeated yourself this time, with so much quality. Good Works! 주소모음 사이트

    Reply
  56. It is a good site post without fail. Not too many people would actually, the way you just did. I am impressed that there is so much information about this subject that has been uncovered and you’ve defeated yourself this time, with so much quality. Good Works! 아벤주소

    Reply
  57. This is a great inspiring article.I am pretty much pleased with your good work.You put really very helpful information.. 부자벳토토

    Reply
  58. I must say, I thought this was a pretty interesting read when it comes to this topic. Liked the material.  베팅특공대 토토

    Reply
  59. I must say, I thought this was a pretty interesting read when it comes to this topic. Liked the material.  쇼미더벳 토토

    Reply
  60. This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free 돌직구벳 토토

    Reply
  61. This is such a great resource that you are providing and you give it away for free 대물카지노 도메인 주소

    Reply
  62. I must say, I thought this was a pretty interesting read when it comes to this topic. Liked the material.  사이다벳

    Reply
  63. Great survey, I’m sure you’re getting a great response 룰라토토

    Reply
  64. สิ่งที่ทำให้เกมสล็อตไม่เคยน่าเบื่อก็คือฟีเจอร์พิเศษและโบนัสต่างๆที่ช่วยเพิ่มความสนุกและโอกาสในการชนะรางวัลบางเกม สล็อตเว็บตรงg2g มีการเปิดโอกาสให้ผู้เล่นได้เล่นมินิเกมเสริมเกมสล็อตเป็นเกมที่น่าสนใจไม่เพียงเพราะความง่ายในการเล่นแต่ยังมีความหลากหลายในการออกแบบเสียงประกอบที่สร้างบรรยากาศ และฟีเจอร์พิเศษที่เพิ่มความสนุก นอกจากนี้ ความยืดหยุ่นในการลงทุนยังทำให้เกมสล็อตเหมาะสำหรับผู้เล่นทุกระดับด้วยปัจจัยเหล่านี้เกมสล็อตยังคงเป็นหนึ่งในเกมที่ได้รับความนิยมอย่างสูงและน่าติดตาม

    Reply
  65. EdwardDereck99

    สล็อตเว็บตรงยอดนิยมปี 2024 เว็บไหนน่าเล่นที่สุด ควรครอบคลุมหลายแง่มุมเพื่อให้ข้อมูลที่เป็นประโยชน์และน่าเชื่อถือแก่ผู้อ่าน โดยรวมถึงปัจจัยที่สำคัญต่อการตัดสินใจเลือกเล่นสล็อตเว็บตรง คุณสามารถพิจารณาหัวข้อและเนื้อหาดังนี้ ความปลอดภัยและความน่าเชื่อถือ เลือกเว็บไซต์ที่มีใบอนุญาตและได้รับการรับรองจากหน่วยงานที่เชื่อถือได้ เช่น Malta Gaming Authority (MGA) หรือ UK Gambling Commission (UKGC) ควรเน้นที่ระบบรักษาความปลอดภัย เช่น การเข้ารหัส SSL เพื่อปกป้องข้อมูลผู้ใช้งาน และดูรีวิวว่ามีการใช้ RNG (Random Number Generator) เพื่อความยุติธรรมในการสุ่มผลสล็อตหรือไม่ ความหลากหลายของเกม h25 สล็อตเว็บตรง แนะนำเว็บที่มีเกมสล็อตจากค่ายเกมชั้นนำ เช่น PG Slot Joker Gaming Pragmatic Play NetEnt และ Microgaming ซึ่งมีความหลากหลายทั้งในด้านกราฟิก ธีม และฟีเจอร์พิเศษ

    Reply
  66. I deeply felt her struggles with identity and cultural connection. Her struggle to find a place to belong, coupled with her sadness at not being able to learn her native language, resonated with me.

    Reply
  67. Thanks for sharing the post.. parents are worlds best person in each lives of individual..they need or must succeed to sustain needs of the family. 카지노 커뮤니티

    Reply
  68. Wow, this is really interesting reading. I am glad I found this and got to read it. Great job on this content. I like it. 카지노 보증

    Reply
  69. We are really grateful for your blog post. You will find a lot of approaches after visiting your post. I was exactly searching for. Thanks for such post and please keep it up. Great work. 에볼루션바카라

    Reply
  70. techmartin

    Amazing post, you’ve made some very good points, and I also believe this is a really great page. I’ll be back for more excellent stuff, and I’ll tell everyone about this website. Regards. india visa eligibility india visa for estonian citizens

    Reply
  71. Online casinos have transformed the gambling landscape, offering players the chance to enjoy a diverse range of games anytime, anywhere. With engaging options from slots to live dealer games, the excitement is endless. For an exceptional gaming experience, players can explore https://decodecasino1.com, where they can find enticing bonuses and secure payment methods tailored to enhance their enjoyment.

    Reply
  72. นอกจากนี้ยังมีโปรแกรมความภักดีที่ผู้เล่นสามารถรับรางวัลพิเศษเพิ่มเติมได้อีกด้วย wm787online

    Reply
  73. 4. ทีมบริการลูกค้าตลอด 24 ชั่วโมง บริการลูกค้าของ WM787ONLINE ถือเป็นอีกหนึ่งจุดเด่นที่ทำให้เว็บไซต์แห่งนี้เป็นอันดับหนึ่ง wm787

    Reply
  74. ทีมผู้เชี่ยวชาญพร้อมให้บริการตลอดเวลาเพื่อให้คำแนะนำ แก้ไขปัญหา หรือให้ข้อเสนอแนะแก่ผู้เล่นอย่างรวดเร็ว สล็อตออนไลน์

    Reply
  75. ไม่ว่าคุณจะมีปัญหาในการเข้าถึงการฝากและถอนเงินก็ตาม สล็อตวอเลทเว็บตรง

    Reply
  76. 5. ความปลอดภัยและความเป็นส่วนตัว WM787ONLINE ให้ความสำคัญกับความปลอดภัยของข้อมูลผู้เล่นเป็นอย่างยิ่ง สล็อตวอเลทไม่มีขั้นต่ำ

    Reply
  77. โดยได้ติดตั้งระบบรักษาความปลอดภัยล่าสุดและใช้เทคโนโลยีการเข้ารหัสข้อมูลที่แข็งแกร่ง สล็อตวอเลท

    Reply
  78. ทำให้ผู้เล่นมั่นใจได้ว่าข้อมูลส่วนบุคคลของพวกเขา สล็อตเว็บตรงวอเลท

    Reply
  79. เว็บตรงสล็อต Share your interesting experiences in making money from slot games

    Reply
  80. from those who have made hundreds of thousands from slot games. สล็อตเว็บตรงเครดิตฟรี

    Reply
  81. Share your interesting experiences in making money from slot games สล็อตเว็บตรง

    Reply
  82. bewin1688 Do you want extar money?

    Reply
  83. SMM Heart

    This post is packed with valuable information, and I’m grateful for the time you spent putting it together. Well done! social media smm panel

    Reply
  84. We provide support for those looking for ‘Take my GED for me’ or ‘Take my TEAS exam’ solutions. Need help with your GED or TEAS exam? We offer services so you can pay someone to take your GED or TEAS exam, hire someone for exam assistance and solutions
    Pay Someone To Take My TEAS Exam

    Reply
  85. Are you looking for who will ‘Write My Dissertation For Me?’ We provide support for those looking for ‘Dissertation Writing Services’ or ‘Dissertation Help’. We offer services so you can ‘Pay Someone To Do Your Dissertation’.
    Pay Someone To Do My Dissertation

    Reply

Leave a Comment